Tag Archives: self-help

The importance of setting boundaries

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Welcome back to That’s What Pea Said

Boundaries are something which indicate bounds or limits – a limiting or bounding line.

Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when somebody passes those limits. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. Boundaries do not keep others out, they fence you in…

The boundaries we create are influenced by the conclusions we have made and the beliefs; opinions, attitudes of past experiences, along with socially learnt behaviours. They preserve our feelings and emotions.

Counseling studies suggest that personal boundaries help define an individual and these boundaries outline the persons likes and dislikes, including what they will and won’t tolerate. Personal boundaries also set a clear distance (a hypothetical line) of how close somebody will allow others to approach. Unfortunately, sometimes, this line is crossed and that is why it’s important to be self-aware of your boundaries and needs.

As individuals, we have the ability to create physical, mental, psychological and spiritual boundaries.

We create these boundaries based up our beliefs, emotions, intentions and most importantly our self-esteem. The boundaries we create affect both our incoming and outgoing emotions.

The different boundaries can be identified as follows:

Physical boundaries: Personal space and touch
Mental boundaries: Thoughts and opinions
Emotional boundaries: Feelings

There are lots of external factors which affect the boundaries which we set, these include:
addiction, mental illness and co-dependency.

Why is it important to set boundaries?

Setting clear personal boundaries is the key to ensuring relationships (romantic or otherwise) are mutually respectful, supportive and caring. The boundaries we set are a measure of our self-esteem. These boundaries set and create the limits for the behaviours which we are willing to accept and tolerate from others.

It is important to set strong boundaries to ensure that others do not mistreat you and to ensure that you do not find yourself to be within an exploitative or abusive relationship.

We all deserve to be treated well and it is within our power to set strong and effective boundaries.

Following this post, I will be identifying the ways in which you can reset your current boundaries.

Thanks for reading,
Pixee xo