21 Life Lessons For 2021

Welcome back to That’s What Pea Said… Have you checked out my latest blog post: Power Hour Readalong – Day 05? I think we are all in agreement that 2020 was not the year which we were expecting and whilst I can honestly say it was not the worst year I have circled the sun, it most certainlty won’t be making an appearance in my top 5… On reflection one of my positives was that I had surplus time to reflect and increase my self awareness and understanding of myself and the universe… With that in mind, I would like to share with you 21 life lessons which I’ll be taking forwards into 2021. I really hope you enjoy…

♡ If it’s important to me, I’ll make time…

During the first UK lockdown I was shielding and naively thought that I would have all of the time in the world… It turns out, unless you put time aside to do particular activities, you won’t actually put the time into doing said activities. It might sound silly but I am sure that we have all been in situations where we think we have all the time in the world and then at the end day we are left wondering where the time went… If it’s important to you, you’ll make the time.

♡ Common sense is really not very common…

The UK Government relied heavily on the common sense of the population during the initial UK lockdown and almost a year down the line we are still in the same damn mess, actually we are in more of a mess… Turns out that common sense, really is not very common.

♡ I really don’t need much to be happy…

During 2020, I made a conscious effort not to buy things which I did not actually need… It might sound trivial, but in addition to only having a handful of places which I could visit during the summer, this back to basics lifestyle honestly taught me that I really don’t need much to be happy, I don’t need materialistic items and the joy of buying something on a whim is short lived. That is not the life which I want and therefore its important that I focus on ensuring that my actions align with my minimalist values.

♡ Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should…

There are lots of things I know I can do, but that does not necessarily mean that I should.. For example, I could get absolutely ratted by 11am as I have no plans for the day, but lets be honest – I probably shouldn’t. Another example would be that the government said that I could go to the pub with a group of friends, but due to my underlying health conditions, I knew that I shouldn’t… I think the greatest example of this was over Christmas -think about it, just because you can, does not mean that you should. Take a moment to look at the bigger picture…

♡ Regret is a waste of time…

When we spend time alone, it is easy for our thoughts to get carried away and ruminate, ultimately this is not healthy… On a normal day, we are unable to go back and edit our past behaviours and experiences, throw a national lockdown into the mix and it is even more impossible. The moral of the story, we cannot change our past, only how we choose to respond and move forward with our lives.

♡ Fear is an illusion (most of the time)…

One of the most reassuring yet somewhat frustrating things I find with my anxiety is that I am aware that most of my fears are not only irrational but in the majority of cases, very unlikely if not impossible to actually happen. This is something which I frequently remind myself, this is not only a life lesson but an effective mantra for easing my anxiety.

♡ I can learn so much from nature…

I have always been happiest surrounded by nature, however I had never given it much thought… This is not to say that I took it for granted, on reflection I think it was just something which was the norm for me growing up. I have grown my own veggies for many years, however last year I made an extra effort to sustainably grow my own veggies and herbs… By taking the time to reflect on my relationship with nature, I realised that there is still so much I can learn from nature.

♡ Vulnerability heals…

During the healing process, vulnerability is paramount. In order to heal, we need to know what emotions we are experiencing and what is triggering these responses. Furthermore, by exposing our vulnerability to others, we allow others to offer empathetic understanding and in turn aid us with our healing journey. It might feel daunting at first, however there are so many benefits to accepting and embracing your vulnerability.

♡ This will pass…

I know this is cliche, however the truth is any emotion which we are experience will pass… it may not pass quickly and it may not pass comfortably however it will pass. One of the ways I have learnt to appreciate this lesson is by meditation and mindfulness. If you haven’t tried either of these grounding techniques, I would recommend giving them a try next time you get a moment, or even better… make the moment.

♡ What other people think of me is none of my business…

Most famously said by Ru Paul, I think we can all take inspiration from this notion… In the grand scheme of things, I do not need to know what others think about me, especially if their thoughts are negative. My brain is always bursting with thoughts, feelings and ideas so by actively not giving a toffee about what others think about me, that free’s a little space for me to focus on positive thoughts and energies.

♡ Less is very often more…

Although it perhaps reads as an oxymoron, in many cases having less is actually more. Learning to embrace and live a minimalist life can actually feel liberating and in turn enables us to free our minds for additional stress and visual clutter. In my experience, working towards a minimalist lifestyle has helped me appreciate everything I have within my life and focus on whether or not particular items bring me joy.

♡ I think, therefore I am…

You may be familiar with the idea that we have the power to speak things into existence. In addition to this, it’s worth considering the basis of a self-fulfilling prophecy, the words which we use to speak to ourselves will affect they way in which we think, feel and behave. If we believe ourselves to be fabulous, we will feel fabulous and in turn behave fabulously… In contrast to this, if we have a negative self-narrative we will think and feel negative and in turn our behaviour will be negative.

♡ Change is good…

In the majority of situations change is uncomfortable however this does not mean to say that change always has to be a negative experience. Change can be the catalyst to move us forwards, after all growth does not come from within our comfort zone.

♡ Learn to appreciate the smallest acts of kindness…

During a year when everything was turned upside down and our anxieties and insecurities were tried and tested it has never been more important to practice kindness to both ourselves and to others. 2020 was a year when people were physically, emotionally and financially strained and therefore many people took the opportunity to get creative with showing kindness to others.

♡ Some words are better left unsaid…

In the majority of cases, I think it is only natural to feel the need to have the last word however I have learnt there is great strength and power in taking a step back and accepting that there are some things which are better left unsaid, either because there is no benefit, or because it will escalate and make matters worse.

♡ Reward myself – I deserve it…

The truth is, most of us work better when there is a reward in sight. I’m not going to argue that rewards make me feel good, is the basic principle of positive reinforcement. When my motivation is feeling low, I make an extra effort to reward myself for my work and I am totally okay with that. Sometimes my reward is simply allowing myself to put my feet up, sometimes I’ll have a mid-afternoon glass of wine, it’s all about balance and rejuvenating my motivation.

♡ Be gentle with self-talk…

I touched on this briefly in my post Power Hour Readalong – Day 02. I believe that it can be far too easy to talk to ourselves in a negative manner, for many of us self-doubt is one of our greatest hinderences when trying to progress and move forwards with our life… Negative self talk is not the easiest of habits to break, but it is equally far from impossible and I think it is something which we can all work towards achieving. I shared an example: if you asked me if I could complete a power hour at 7am I would have responded with a flat-out no… BUT hey – here I am – starting my Power Hour at 7am! I even added a time stamp to my story to remind me of this achievement and to remind myself that I am more capable than I give myself credit for.

♡ Gratitude multiplies happiness…

If you don’t take the time to practice gratitude, what are you doing with your time? Honestly, taking the time to focus on the people, emotions and the things which we are grateful for sends a positive energy into the universe which in turn multiplies our happiness and appreciation for life.

♡ My future needs me; my past doesn’t…

Mindfulness is a powerful technique for helping us ease our anxiety and focus on the here and now… One thing I learnt is that my future needs me, but my past doesn’t. With the best will in the world, I cannot change the past, I can however change my response and how I choose to move forwards with my life and make positive changes moving forwards.

♡ Not all the people I lose are a loss…

Whether it is romantic, or not – break ups are never pleasant however sometimes it is necessary to severe our connection with others. During the first lockdown I removed three people from my life, it was far from an enjoyable experience however it was necessary and despite having previously invested my time and energies, this experience taught me that not all the people I lose, are a loss.

♡ Intuition doesn’t lie…

Are you familiar with the notion of having a ‘gut feeling’? That is a physical response to your intuition and it is really beneficial that you learn to acknowledge this feeling and that you learn to trust your intuition. In my experience, my intuition never lies and this is something which I am grateful for.

As I said, I honestly don’t believe that 2020 was the worst year in which I circled around the sun and I hope that you find my thoughts to be beneficial moving forward to the 2020 afterparty… Do you have any 2020 life lessons to share, let me know in the comments – I’d love to read them, lets chat xo

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4 thoughts on “21 Life Lessons For 2021

  1. Unwanted Life

    The UK government hasn’t used any common sense in the last year, so it boggles the mind that they think the public will do something they won’t. Also, not everyone that leaves your life is a loss, some are a gift when they leave

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  4. Vamp It Up Mcr (Chrissie)

    ‘Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should’ has been one of my guiding principles through my 30’s, after a crazy (and sometimes ill judged) decade in my 20’s lol I think this is a very wise list, with a lot of things on it most people should think about. ✨🖤✨

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